After heterosexual couples began to get hitched it was all down hill. First they got us ejected from Eden, then men started marrying lots of women at once.
Pretty soon we had forced marriages, child betrothals, wife beating and wife burning.
And don’t get me started on the kids: forced labour, abandonment, infanticide – all practiced by heterosexual married parents.
Clearly, the only way to stop these barbarities is to ban straight people from marrying.