Things are pretty pathetic when a supposedly advanced democracy actively tries to stop its citizens from legally marrying overseas.

Imagine this. You have met the love of your life. You have moved to their country to set up your life with that person. You decide to get married. But first the Australian Government has to issue a piece of paper that says you are not already married to someone else here, in your country of citizenship. No problem? Well not if you say you are intending to marry someone of the approved gender.

However, if you wish to marry someone of the same sex the Australian Government refuses to issue a so-called “Certificate of No Impediment” to marriage (CNI).

The tangled web of obstructionism that characterises political opposition to marriage equality has taken a new twist overnight with the revelation that Angela Borella, sister of former Tasmanian premier David Bartlett, has been stopped from marrying her Portuguese partner Filipa Santos in Portugal.

In an opinion article published on The Punch today, Ms Borella wrote:

“My partner and I were full of excitement about the future ahead and fulfilling our plan. But my feelings immediately dissolved into sadness, embarrassment and shame when I found I couldn’t have a CNI. I had never felt more de-valued as an Australian citizen.

“The failure of the Australian Government to issue us a CNI impedes greatly on our relationship here. For example, I am unable to access certain entitlements like health care unless I am married. I’m also concerned about my partner. What about her right to enter a marriage with the woman she loves? After all, we are living in Portugal, not Australia.”

Not content with stopping loving and committed Australian same-sex couples form marrying each other here, since 2005 the Australian Government has refused to issue a CNI that would enable marriages in countries where the law is more enlightened.

In September, my wife Jackie and I headed to the Big Apple to complete our legal marriage, which we began with the religious part of the ceremony back in 1998. This only became possible because two things happened. First, the marriage law changed in New York State earlier this year to end discrimination based on gender. The New York authorities had gone to enormous lengths to make sure that they had eliminated even the vaguest suggestion of discrimination, right down to the wording of their official documents and ceremonies.

Secondly, and this was a critical move, we were told that when the New Yorkers heard that the Australian Government was refusing to issue CNIs to same-sex couples, they felt it was so unjust that they removed the requirement for a CNI. That is how we were able to go to New York to get married.

We even went to the trouble of obtaining an Apostille, a document that enables international recognition of our marriage in countries which are signatories to the Hague Convention. Except Australia.

So when we returned to Australia from the USA, my wife Jackie and I went to see the Federal Attorney-General’s staff to take up this issue, and the problem of CNIs for couples wanting to marry in countries like Portugal which require one. We have beaten a path to this particular door before to talk about marriage equality.

The refusal to issue CNIs is bloody-minded, mean-spirited, and legally questionable.

The Government’s lame excuse is that they cannot issue a CNI because same-sex marriages are not recognised in Australia. But that is not the question. The question is whether there is any impediment to an individual marrying their partner legally in a country where their laws do not discriminate. The question is whether that individual is already married to someone else here.

Frankly, if a couple is intending to marry in another country it is none of the Australian Government’s business except to say that there is no impediment to the individuals concerned marrying elsewhere.

We cannot look at issues like marriage equality as an isolated Australia-centric issue.

Australia might be an island geographically, but we are a global citizen, part of an international global community. Our population is widely travelled and our interpersonal connections are equally global.

The ALP National Conference will be debating marriage equality in early December. It is time they sorted out this local injustice and international debacle.

Professor Kerryn Phelps is a doctor, public health and human rights advocate, President of the Australasian Integrative Medicine Association, Past President AMA and a mother of three.

This article was originally published on the Drum.