On Sunday, I walked in on my two girls looking at the front page of The Canberra Times, and discussing the beautiful picture of two brides sharing a kiss.
“You know Liv, some boys at my preschool don’t believe that boys can marry boys, and girls can marry girls,” said five-year-old Sophia.
“Of course they can…as long as they love each other, anyone can get married,” said the very wise Miss Seven.
That is what we have raised our daughters to believe. If only it was that simple.
I write this article from the point of view of a straight married woman in staunch and passionate support of same-sex marriage. I know that, in Canberra at least, I am (mostly) among like-minded people…but I don’t kid myself that my beliefs are universally accepted.
I mean, one only has to look at the Australian Parliament.
As the editor of HerCanberra, one thing that has really struck me is the number of ‘unlikes’ I get from our Facebook page or newsletter whenever I post something in favour of same-sex marriage.
Because I just kind of assume that it’s a no brainer.
I have rarely been as proud to call myself a Canberran than on 22 October, when the ACT Legislative Assembly passed a bill to establish Australia’s first same-sex marriage scheme, allowing same sex couples to fulfil their dream of being married.
Although the celebrations may be short-lived, with a High Court of Australia ruling due tomorrow, at least we have struck out in the name of equality.
Last weekend, that dream became a reality for around a dozen couples. One of Canberra’s best photographers, Martin Ollman, was there to capture some of the beautiful moments.
And the ceremonies were breathtaking – emotional and brimming with the love that we expect from any wedding.
How can anyone look at these photos and say that the relationships depicted in them are wrong?
I went to school with Mandy, who married her partner Katrina on Saturday (that’s them above left) – back then, in a small country town, same-sex relationships were only whispered about.
It’s so wonderful to see her, some 20 years on, marry her soulmate and be able to proclaim her love for her so openly. The way it ought to be.
Mandy and Katrina are a great example of the lengths that same sex couples are willing to go to in order to have their marriage legally recognised.
They live in Wagga, so on the morning of their wedding, they had their hair and makeup done there; then hopped in the car to Canberra for the ceremony; then back again to Wagga for the reception.
And then there’s Stephen Dawson and Dennis Liddelow, who made the journey from Perth.
But, while I am proud that our open-minded city offers same-sex couples a basic right that should be afforded to all, it is a shame that people should have to travel five hours – or across the country – for their wedding day, simply to ensure their actions are recognised in the eyes of the law.
It makes me sad that we haven’t yet progressed enough as a society to see that, surely, it’s the ‘person’ that matters…not their colour, gender, or sexual preference.
Annabel Crabb said it brilliantly in last week’s “The Kitchen Cabinet” with Joe Hockey. They were discussing Hockey’s conviction that, “if you’re going to have an optimum outcome for a child, a child should have a mother and a father” (what this belief means for single parents is probably a discussion for another time).
Annabel responded that she thought that, “politics is a half-formed attempt to partially regulate people’s lives in an area which is notoriously resistant to legislation and regulation – who you fall in love with.”
It was one of the best and most succinct comments on the issue I’d heard.
I have many gay friends.
Some of them are single.
Some of them are dating.
Some of them are in committed and long term relationships, Some of them have children – happy, healthy, adored children (and I would dare you to pick them out of a line-up if placed side-by-side with kids raised by ‘straights’…) Take away the question of who they prefer to sleep with and these people are no different from any of us.
And, really, aren’t we always teaching our kids ‘it’s what’s inside that counts’? Personally, I would much rather a child be raised by two loving and dedicated women or men in a same-sex relationship, than a neglectful ‘conventional’ couple.
At the end of the day, who are we to dictate who should fall in love and what a ‘family’ looks like?
I have my fingers crossed that, tomorrow, common sense and human decency will prevail – not just for those couples who want their love for each other to be recognised. But for Australia.
Photo: Martin Ollman
Author: Amanda Whitley
Publication : Her CANBERRA
Date: 11 December 2013
Original article here